18 years and not much more to go.....

I realized today that a piece of my past is dying. A piece that I treasure. It is a material thing, literally. And maybe I shouldn’t put so much value on it. But I love this item and have always taken pride in it and now, well now I feel grief over its demise.

I have had this piece in my possession for 18 years. Holy shit! It’s lasted longer than some of my friendships and it definitely has outlasted all of my romances. Good Lord I’m getting old. Can it really be that old? Let me tell you the story….

I was 19 and in my freshmen year of college at the University of North Texas in Denton, Texas. I had just turned 19 and wanted to buy myself something for my big day, so off to the bookstore I went. I fell in love the instant I saw it. It was perfect- heather gray with the University of North Texas written across the chest.  I slipped it over my head and found the fit of a lifetime. It wasn’t too heavy, it wasn’t too light. It was an XL and hung on me just as I’d always wanted a sweatshirt too. I spent my cash on it and it is one purchase I have never ever regretted.

I have numerous pictures of me in my sweatshirt over the years. Some with college friends, others with boyfriends, even a few with family. As the years have gone by this sweatshirt has hung on and is the one I turn to for comfort 9 times out of 10. I have worn it in all four seasons; day and night. I have worn it on girl’s trips, casino runs, midnight snack runs. I have packed it for just about every trip- even to Mexico for the 4^th of July in 1997. It has traveled to PA, WA, WI, IL, CO, the south of France and Vilseck, Germany

I have tried other sweatshirts out. I even was lucky enough to have Cowgirl send me one she no longer wears that is from UNT. They just aren’t the same. I do own a hoodie that is emblazoned with UNT across it and I wear that as a jacket here in CO. And it is comfy and it will most likely become my go to sweatshirt for this winter. But it just won’t be the same.

I have gained over 40 pounds since I bought this prized sweatshirt and it does not judge me. It hides my fat rolls and keeps me comfy. I have curled up in it for days when my depression was too thick for me to move. I have cried in its sleeve, hid my face with its neck when my cheeks have turned crimson, and I turn to it on the days I need just a little bit of coverage to stay warm. It is getting thinner and thinner with every wash; the cuffs are slowly starting to rip and unfurl. It causes my heart to hurt to see it getting closer and closer to the day it just won’t be wearable anymore.

I WILL figure out a way to keep my sweatshirt alive- somehow, someway. In the meantime, I’m going to be hitting Ebay up to see if by chance its sibling is out there somewhere….